Cloverfield Sucked
posted by: Tony
The whole thing was done with handheld cameras like the Blair Witch Project, but unlike the Blair Witch which was pretty good, this movie sucked ass. During the whole movie they gave the camera to a guy who says he never used a video camera before. So, the camera is always tilted and spun around fast creating an annoying effect. Also, the was no horror and not much action is this movie. Watching Cloverfield is like watching a bad home movie, then they throw in a big ugly puppet.
January 21st, 2008 at 8:24 pm
I agree the movie was a bomb. I want my money back!
January 21st, 2008 at 10:14 pm
G’day to you all. Umm yea Cloverfield was awesome. The video camera format made it more original. It left you clueless,frightened,and emotional as you watched. I don’t know how people didn’t like it but I respect your opinions and some of your points are valid.
January 21st, 2008 at 11:50 pm
You guys are fucktards.
The movie was awesome. It doesn’t have to be all action or horror to make a movie good you dipshits.
January 22nd, 2008 at 12:10 am
You guys are idiots
January 22nd, 2008 at 1:46 am
This was a horrible movie and had cheap typical jokes…Movie sucked and want my money back!!!!!!!!!!!!!
January 22nd, 2008 at 1:49 am
If you are comparing Cloverfield to Blair Witch you’re dead wrong on the horror and action complaint.
January 22nd, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Horrible movie. I get that it wasn’t suppose to be the conventional type of move but, they can show the typical cliche love scene? How bout the stupid over used plot of “boy goes to save his girlfriend from danger”? They can show that but not the scene when the army was attacking the monster?! F*ck JJ Abrams & all his stupid projects where he leaves so many questions.
January 22nd, 2008 at 12:36 pm
One more thing, Why did that chic blow up when she got bit? Who knows, because it makes more sense for some guy to go back & save his girlfriend WHEN THERE IS A GIANT MONSTER ATTACKING THE CITY!! F this movie
January 22nd, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Whats sad is this movie could have been great if only the camera stayed still. At least 20 people in my theatre left and at least 5 barfed! I just got a headache for a whole day! If you can play Halo 3 for over a hour! you can handle this movie I suppose.
January 22nd, 2008 at 11:04 pm
This movie would have been better if they didn’t go “blair-witch” style with the camera. I get that it was designed to make you feel part of the action and get a 1st person point of view, but all it did was give me a headache. Between the frat-boy style jokes spewed from the main protaginst, to running around town trying to save a girl, this movie really jumped the shark. A few scenes showing the “monster” kept the audience going on long enough, but no action and a bunch of teens running amuck midtown manhattan on a wild goose chase really didn’t do it for me. Abrams’ attempt to leave us with questions at the end when the big explosion goes was in my opinion a futile attempt to keep you wrapped up in “what really happened” without showing it to you. He, quite literally, tried to show us a monster movie without showing the monster, and almost got away with it.
Two thumbs down. A good attempt at being original, but failed nonetheless. Let’s hope the new Star Trek doesn’t suck like this.
January 22nd, 2008 at 11:08 pm
(The new Star Trek is directed by the same individual as Cloverfield for those who were unaware)
January 23rd, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Awful. I had high expectations for this movie going in but when I realized the whole movie was going to be through a video camera some dumbass was holding (I prayed he would die through the whole movie) my hopes dropped. I respect the attempt at originality and suspense but I genuinely hated this movie.
January 24th, 2008 at 12:48 am
Despite the gimmick (it’s more real when filtered through two types of media?), the movie was poorly written, the characters were uninteresting, people’s reactions seemed unrealistic, and the monster was as frightening as the Rancor monster from Jedi.
Filmmakers need to make films about real monsters like George Bush. Now THAT would be scary, and it might actually have an effect on the real world.
January 24th, 2008 at 3:48 am
Man, this movie sucked. I saw it, and still don’t know what the monster looks like. It should have been a SciFi made-for-TV movie.
The 20-something yuppies were SO stupid, and the characters were SO unable to even pretend to think how to defend themselves, and the acting SO bad, that I was bummed that they ALL didn’t get killed faster so I didn’t have to watch anymore jerky video.
Some evil liar put out a review in early January, and addressed the rumors that the entire movie would be told from the perspective of only one (jerkily filmed) video camera. The reviewer claimed to have seen the movie, and said “No, only SOME parts of the movie are in jerky hand-held style”. LIAR!!!!!! The entire movie is shot as though it is all from the lens of ONE video camera, and MOST of the movie jerks around or even films static shots at an angle. I know, the guy behind the camera is SUPPOSED to not be any good with a camera – SO WHAT!?!?! It was still stupid and irritating. And the WORST part was the movie shows maybe a total of 20 seconds of the monster, and never all at once (except for a few split-second views from above).
Give me money back, JJ. I wasn’t a fan of your TV shows, and now am not a fan of your movies, either.
This movie sucked.
January 25th, 2008 at 1:06 am
This movie is cast in the classic scifi-horror film mold. First off, its traditional in the horror genre that we don’t ever see the monster until the end of the movie or at all ( like in the original JAWS or any Hitchcock stuff). No one can make a scarier monster than your own mind. When the story teller gives the monster form for you it ruins the movie. Second, 1st person POV is allways a bad idea. Most people hate it or just don’t understand it. Third, I dont know where everyone got their info but this wasn’t supposed to be a war movie. If you want Scifi-war go rent Starship troopers or something, those movies allwas blow. Finally, I think many of the people that are unhappy with this movie feel that way be cause of both misinformation and unreal expectations.
January 25th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
I agree the movie was the worst I’ve seen in years, I didn’t mind the shaking of the camera, the problem was the plot dragged on, making me ask to myself why am I watching this? Truth be told, I walked out after 30 minutes and walked into a hell of a good movie by the title of “There will be Blood”
January 26th, 2008 at 12:08 am
This movie was the result of holywood getting caught up in it’s own hype. I mean this was on e, if not the worst peace of crap I have ever had the displeasure to watch. The camera affect (that everyone is saying is so original) was to distract you from realizing that this movie was a turd you just flushed. No wander why the writers are not getting payed. Most of the crap that come out these days I wouldnt wipe my but with. I think the writers of this movie (actualy everyone involved with its makeing)and any critic that said it was good should have to pay the unfortunate peoploe that sat through it alot of money.
January 27th, 2008 at 11:52 am
OMG, after all the great reviews, I am so amazingly stunned at how horrible this was. It is so nice to know that there are other people out there with some taste and a brain (who hated this movie). Let’s see, just so this isn’t a bashing for no good reason.
The handheld was WAY too much. It didn’t do it’s job. I was nearly sick 1/2 dozen times through out the movie. Haven’t they every heard of stabilizers – I mean if it ihad f’ing nightvision (give me a break) it would have stabilizers. It only distracted from the movie instead of adding to it.
The characters were virtually all morons and cardboard at that. I have heard over and over that they were average joes and THAT was why it was so great – you could be that average joe. Well shoot me if I am every that stupid.
Other things that just fueled my dislike. A woman can RUN after being impaled on rebar and going down 39 flights of stairs. The statue of liberty head is about half the size it really is. They survived a helicopter crash. Did I mention the nightvision on a handheld cam?
I was glad when the characters dies, only because I hated them so damn much.
Finally, I went in knowing it was 1st person and handheld – didn’t help in the least. The plot and pacing just sucked. I can’t think of a SINGLE point where I was the least bit scared or experienced the least bit of tension. It was just boring.
Just don’t waste your money.
I will say the monster was very interestingly articulated as were it’s brood. That is about the only positive I can add – they (the movie makers) didn’t overwhelm you with too much of them nor explain them to death. That was nice.
But I say again – don’t waste your money – or if you just have to, spend some extra and get some motion sickness meds before hand.
February 14th, 2008 at 2:59 am
A grey crippled long-legged rancor from Star Wars that grows and shrinks every other scene…
Reused prop spiders from the movie Starship Troopers…
Bad acting and cheap filming…
The scariest part of this movie was wasting $10 and losing an hour and a half of my time.
April 21st, 2008 at 7:51 am
Just finished Cloverfield and it sucked nuts. Uninteresting, not scary, just LAME. Horrible film. I usually like new ideas in film, but this one just falls flat. I was really excited to see what all the buzz was about but WOW, kind of wished I would have waited longer.
April 23rd, 2008 at 1:32 am
This movie was boring. The most interesting aspect of it was seeing how far along camcorders have come. If it is standard to have night vision, i know what I am saving for.
No action? Cool I am a drama lover.
Go save the girl? Cool! I would too. Drag a camera around with me while trying to dodge huge monsters and fast insect monsters? Screw that, put down the camera and save your life.
oh and I do not respect this movie for its attempt at originality. Documentary style movies are not original and are getting so old to me I am sick of seeing them. If I had known i would not have even watched it.
April 24th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
This was the worst movie I have ever seen and I’ve seen to many to count…
It was blair witch meets godzilla minus a story line…The sudden glimpses of the monster and his puppies got old real quick under the weight of trying to ever get a decent look at it. You’d have to have an IQ below 70 to like or even been frightened by this piece of shit rip off!
April 30th, 2008 at 12:45 am
Just watched this movie and not only am I sea sick from it, it sucked on top of that. Left too many questions without explaing what the hell was going on. The only way this movie can be resurectted is if a number 2 comes out but then everyone will be to scared to go and watch it for fear of another crappy ending and a waste of money. Save your money, try to borrow it from someone or steal it at Wal Mart.
May 2nd, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Matt Damon did not like this movie. Matt Damon does not like the jerky film style. Matt Damon threw up 3 times. This movie made Matt Damon sad.
May 13th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
I can’t believe I actually bought this movie for $20! I will read reviews next time!
This movie sucked so bad I fast forwarded through most of it. Oh wait:
Untitled J.J. Abrams Cloverfield Sequel (2009) (announced) (producer)
May 17th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
It was so fucking bad that I came in a year late to say it again, to say it loud and clear:
If you’re out there, and you haven’t yet seen Cloverfield, for the love of the gods, don’t do it.
If you’re out there, and you had a hand in making this piece of shit waste of time and money, all I can say is “Fuck you. Die.”
July 10th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
The worst movie I have ever seen! I could have done better with my own HD Cannon camera! What a piece of SHIT! The best part was watching the “making of video”. They must have $pent plenty to make this movie that looks like it was made by a 13 year old. I heard there is going to be a sequel. LOL I guess I could film my dog taking a shit and it will sell.
September 26th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Super site….where’s the blog roll?
September 30th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
I don’t know If I said it already but …Excellent site, keep up the good work. I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks,
A definite great read….Barbra Scurley
October 15th, 2009 at 3:56 am
Well, that movie totally blew goat cock. Im not so mad cause i just stole it off the internet from a torrent, so at least i didnt waste my money but I certainly want the hour and a half of my life back that it wasted. if you have to see it, just boost it. its shot like a shit blair witch, theres no story, just a bunch of fucktard running from a huge lizard monster that shits spiders. They do the typical, instead of getting the fuck out of doge, one dude has to go back for his ugly girlfriend, so they have their cute little trek back to find her. ahhh why waste my time, here, they all die in the end. and the end scene is retarded, its when the footage theyve been shooting the whole time to look like its done handheld cuts back to the last few seconds of the guy and his girlfriend filming themselves on the ferris wheel at coney island.
DOnt be pissed cuz i jsut ruined it, thank me for saving you the time